The Way Things Were
by XxDonMelloxX
Summary: One-sided NxMello implied. Near reflects on Mello and Matt after the Kira case has ended, wondering how things could have been...


**The Way Things Were**

A story that may potentially get me killed by my Matty 8D;

**A/N: I guess it's kind of interesting to see the sorts of things that are sprouting from my mind with this Writer's Surge. I hope they're interesting enough for everyone! **

**Here's a small one-sided Near/Mello. I apologize to the MxN haters (You don't have to read it...) Mello isn't IN it. This takes place a while after the Kira case, just Near thinking back on things, and romance isn't **_**really **_**implied. **

A tiny pale hand reached up to entwine itself in soft lockes of white. A pink tongue wet a dry pair of lips as dark, dark eyes looked over the small figurines before him, his free hand idly moving over the few he'd selected to fiddle with.

A snowy white figure that represented himself, a stripe-clad one for Matt, a black clothed one with a scar to represent Mello. They needed a home. Hmm...

Near reached over to select a doll's house, placing it beside the three figures. There... home. Wammy's. Except.. something was off about it all. His eyes narrowed. Mello...

He picked up the dark doll, a finger grazing the dark half of its face. This wasn't the Mello he'd known at Wammy's. It was interesting, how Mello had changed. He _had_ changed, more than just his looks. After that explosion, Mello had become almost a different person completely.

Near reached over to sift through the dolls, plucking out another dark one. An unscarred one. Younger Mello. Placing one on each of his pointer fingers, he held them before himself, regarding first one, then the other. Mello 1 and Mello 2. Which one did he know best? Did he ever really know Mello at all?

Well... yes, he had. Yes, he'd known Mello very well. He'd been able to predict the sorts of things he would do, almost always. He wiggled the older figure on his finger. After the explosion, Mello had changed. He seemed far more calm, and his actions were given more thought rather than impulse.

Near stared at the doll. Still... even though he was able to usually predict Mello's actions... he'd been able to do so because he understood the kind of behavior Mello typically exhibited. It was a personality trait, and one that was easy for him to understand. But, that didn't mean that he _knew_ Mello... he just knew the kind of person Mello was.

He gave a small inward sigh, looking now to the younger doll. He plucked the dolls from his fingers and opened "Wammy's" on a hinge, the home splitting in half to reveal a number of doll's rooms. Near-doll went in one room, and Mello 1-doll and Matt-doll went in another. Matt... Matt hadn't changed much. Still the same old laid-back gamer Near remembered, always fiddling with whatever technical equipment he could get his hands on.

Near stared at the scenario for a moment. Near-doll in one room and Mello 1-doll and Matt-doll in another. Together... those two were _always _together. Mello had let Matt into his life. But why? What had happened between them that made Mello decide to let _Matt _in? Mello never let _anyone_ in.

Mello never let _him_ in.

He reached over to place Near-doll at the door connecting to Mello and Matt-doll's room. Mello-doll faced away from the door, refusing to let Near-doll into his personal space.

Near blinked. "Personal space?" Maybe that wasn't the term he was looking for. Or was it? He'd always found Mello to be very interesting. He wanted to know Mello better. But Mello wouldn't have anything to do with him. Mello hated him. Just because Near was "better."

"Honestly, Mello," Near found himself muttering aloud. "Would it really have been so bad?" Would it have killed him to let Near in, even half as much as he'd let Matt in? If they'd been able to get along, they could have both left Wammy's at the same time to work on the Kira case with the SPK as a single unit rather than each on their own. He knew the case would have come to a close much faster if that had been the case.

Or would it? Actually... Near looked down to the older Mello doll by his foot and picked it up, twirling a locke of hair thoughtfully as he stared at it. If Mello hadn't had that life-changing explosion... If Mello had been working with Near the whole time and hadn't had that personality shift, would they _really_ have been able to catch Kira without being killed? Kira had been so close to winning.. and if Mello and Matt hadn't sacrificed themselves...

He sighed. No... in the end, it had been better for them to work apart as individual halves of a single unit. Yes, he would still think of them that way - as one. It was how things were supposed to have been. As successors, he and Mello were supposed to work together. Matt too, even. Especially Matt. Near knew that he and Mello alone could surpass L, but the three of them together? All three of them? That would have been a truly awesome and unbeatable team. The three of them together... no case would be a challenge, he was sure of it.

But no... Now it was only him. And the two people he considered closest to him - despite how many times they'd made fun of him and picked on him and even annoyed him - They were gone. Matt and Mello, gone forever. Near felt a corner of his lips twitch downward. See that? Even in death, they were together. Always together. Always.

"Would it really have been so bad, Mello? Really?" He mumbled again. Because the two people closest to him constantly pushed him away... he'd always been alone. Not that he _really_ needed anyone. His toys were enough to keep him company. Well... mostly, anyway. Every once in a while he craved human contact. And he did find that, more often than not, he missed how things had been between the three of them at Wammy's.

Matt wasn't ever really terrible toward him. Their interactions were few and uneventful. But Mello... Mello was... well, interesting, as he'd said. It was interesting, Near thought, how Mello claimed to hate him so much, yet would go out of his way to get on Near's nerves in whatever little ways he could. Why give him even a moment of his time if he hated him so much? Hmm.

Near pursed his lips slightly, picking up the younger Mello-doll and placing it back on his finger, admiring it. No... he would never know what possessed Mello to pay him any attention at all. Mello would always be a mystery to everyone but Matt. Then again, Near was sure even Matt hadn't known everything. It was just the way Mello was.

He licked his lips, tugging a small, white box in front of him which held a number of doll accessories. Near lifted the box of accessories into the air and dumped them onto the ground, tiny trinkets spilling onto the floor. Then he lay upon his stomach, sifting through until he found what he was looking for.

Mello 2-doll and Matt-doll were set atop the white box. And on each of their heads, Near placed a small gold ring. Halos. The little box was Heaven. Near rested his head in his arms, watching the two. What if he'd declined to take L's place? What if he'd let Mello be the one to head off the SPK? Matt would have gone with him, of course. Matt would have acted as his Watari. And what would he be doing now? Sitting back at Wammy's? Mello wouldn't accept working with him.

Near frowned. He was coming to a realization, and one that hurt a little. He continued to stare at the dolls. Mello and Matt, together in Heaven, together at Wammy's, together working to catch Kira. Always together. Always pushing him out. Mello, always pushing him away.

He was... jealous of Matt. He hadn't ever wanted to admit it, and he wouldn't ever admit it to anyone but himself, but it was the truth. He was jealous that Matt could get so close to Mello where Mello had shoved him away. He and Mello could have been friends. Well... If Near weren't #1 in the ranks at Wammy's, they could have been friends, anyway. Yeah, he'd never understand Mello.

But there was nothing that could be done about it now. Mello was gone forever, and Matt was gone with him. He was alone. Sure, he had Rester and Lidner, but... things would never be the same now that he was on his own from Wammy's. He reached up and flicked the Matt-doll from his view. No... things would never be anywhere close to the way things were.

He reached up again, staring at the Mello-doll. He'd always wonder what things could have been like between them... what kind of friendship they might have had. What kind of things Mello told Matt that he wouldn't dream of telling Near. Who was Mello, really? Near sighed.

"Goodbye, Mello." He whispered, and flicked the doll away. Goodbye forever, Mello and Matt.

Now he was _really_ alone...


End file.
